Um,
I wanted to make this film to demystify mental illness.
I myself have rapid cycling bipolar disorder.
This is my story
and the story of these Children.
Even as a young child, I lived in fear, I would hide in the attic so no one could see me.
I was terrified.
My little hands would get damp. My heart raced
ready to leap out of my chest.
My name is David.
I'm 12 years old and I'm bipolar.
David came at about two days old
and
he just stayed,
um, probably well into
maybe by the time he was eight years of age,
it was evident that he wasn't going to be placed for adoption.
And I made a verbal commitment
to see them through the foster care system,
which will be till the age of 19.
I decided
a few years into that, that
I would adopt his older sibling.
And in order to do that, I felt that I would
and should take them both.
I have, I have four brothers, well, sisters and one and one brother.
I think there'll be, when we go to the new house, there'll be about,
I think three kids.
Well, four because I am myself. Of course, including
so it would be different.
It's in Sussex
and we'll be living on a Valley
Drive
and a lot of stuff like that.
So we'll be, uh, we'll be on a big house.
There's a lot of different stuff on Valley View Drive.
Actually, they have a big bakery nearby
and a,
and a big place, a mall.
I'm also a,
an adoptive parent as well as a foster parent.
I don't know how many Children I've had, I've had three birth Children and
could be hundreds of foster Children. I don't really know.
Currently parenting six Children,
four of whom have special needs.
I have like three bells.
One big 11 small one and a round
one.
And it's really different.
I have to take them every day
and I take them with my juice,
but usually at Sheila's, I take them with uh peanut butter
because I love peanut butter.
It's my favorite treat.
There's Miss
and well she does her
own to pre
she tested in Wales.
Never a man.
So
come
I period a seasonal effective
disorder.
A
mite
springtime
depression.
Chika
Masa
told me my
I can
be a cat
zone,
sir.
The
depression
team.
Rt U Brazil.
Let
me leave
the
gold
blanche.
No
diagnostic
such
as
schizoaffective
bipolar
is schizophrenic.
Me
I
a transition
impossibility
Veronique
uh uh
Dia
mm
I was afraid of our neighbor, terrified of his voice.
I could not imagine myself in his presence.
I was petrified with fear.
I was already dealing with these terrible emotions. At four years old,
I've always known that David had issues.
I've known
probably well before the age of two. So we kind of grew
with them and threw them from one set of issues into another.
But I was well aware that
he had some significant issues at a very early age,
easy to love, but very difficult to parent.
I got a little bit mad.
I knocked over a table.
It was bad. That was really bad.
And I accidentally knocked out a window
even worse. He becomes very aggressive and very violent.
Both to the, um,
things around him.
Desks are thrown, chairs are thrown, people are hurt,
um,
very abusive,
lots of screaming and spitting and
hitting and biting.
So he has a lot of, um, people holding him trying to keep him safe and them safe too.
Hi,
this is my room,
my toy box, my dresser,
my bed
and my
closet
and my shelf,
put the clothes on
and I have a, I have the, uh,
truck, wallpaper and,
and uh, blue
blue paint
and some, uh,
and,
and the attic door is in here.
It's different.
I have a lot of stuff
even toys, tons of
it in there.
It's fun.
This is my room, of course,
it's different.
My room is actually, uh, the,
one of the most famous room in the house according to all the kids,
everything became irrational, inexplicable fears. But so real
adult laughter turned into nightmares.
Their voices seemed so loud and disconnected.
I imagined that they would completely crush me,
curled up under a bed. I was strangled by fear.
So
there's Miss Aunt the
Asi
selling.
Where's
the
ST
mode
de
de poem?
Therefore,
and she said,
Chipper
de
Song
uh
for
the
Jim is so
stick on my healthy outlet.
My head hurts again. My eyes are dry, my emotions, an open wound with lemon drops.
Everything. Everyone. A reminder of how it used to be for me
childhood, so heavy
except move on still hurts
tears of wonder, tears of hurt days of confrontations. Further understanding
other people's issues remind me of my own
slap to the face shot in the eyes. Pictures of my youth home videos of my memories
bring it all up to my throat.
I try to swallow in
this present moment,
anger down chin up, swallow
short of breath, clammy hands, heart racing,
ready to explode, anxiety attack.
How
is my
favorite brand in
Chua?
So
um
tantrums.
It has
just got
a
brand.
Um
I
guess
on
the
time out
to
I
should
like to
for
is p
me tell
me
for a bit of it
on P
aye.
No ta tap.
Hi
V it
fish on to
be
for
my
I could do a trial.
So
I
just, it's, it's highly
leury just slightly leisure.
He's black coin.
That
can't,
can't let up
people.
He, that
Paul
baby,
some
are
dyslexic
aggressive.
So
they
called
a,
I
can't concentrate in school. My head is spinning.
I jump at the slightest noise.
I want to sink into my desk.
I want to disappear.
Hi. My name is Aaron Sean Quigley.
Le, I am.
I'm a girl from London, Ontario, Canada and I have bipolar disorder
from the time she was a year old. We knew she was different.
We just didn't know what it was, that was different about her.
We had started looking, uh, when she started daycare,
we knew that she had temper tantrums that
lasted longer than most Children. Um, our friends, Children would
sort of have a temper tantrum that might last for
15 or 20 minutes at the most. And Erin could have a
temper,
temper tantrums that lasted for two hours at a time.
She'd be inconsolable, screaming and yelling and crying.
And that's really, when we noticed that something was definitely different.
So we started looking for help then.
But it,
she was so young that it was really difficult to find anybody
who could help us or tell us what was going on.
The thing is
that even though I have bipolar disorder,
I'm still just a normal girl.
I mean, I have friends. I,
oh, sorry, I thought there was something wrong with the fish anyway.
I'm a teenage girl.
I'm 13 years old.
I'm going through puberty.
My body is changing a lot and my eye levels are changing a lot and I'm probably gonna
have, uh, and probably sometimes soon I'm going to go through a bad day streak.
So that's the thing. It's really unpredictable. It's like slots or something.
I'm like, it's like,
oh,
yeah,
you know, when Erin was five years old,
she said I'm the worst little girl in the world.
So my heart broke
and at the same time when she was four, she said,
um, you know, you're my mommy walks with grace and beauty in the sun,
you know, and so
that's been the two extremes of our uh of,
of our lives with Aaron.
You know,
uh a moment of sublime joy and pleasure
and
heartbreaking
pain.
I've tried so hard to do my best. I've tried so hard to please you,
I've tried so hard to work it out,
but I guess you don't know what you, wow. Wow.
I just want to escape from all of this.
Just wanna be on my own,
just want away from all my fear
until I want faith
that
I'm not ready just yet.
But I'll tell you where I am.
And that's why I can.
This song doesn't have a specific tune to it.
It changes all of the time.
So like,
like a weird ghost story I read at where a picture changed it a little bit every day.
But
that,
uh ST
that song I wrote
my dad was I'd had a, had a bad day at a, at a boot swig and my dad
had, was yelling at me whenever I agreed with him and he'd call me a fake or whatever.
I defied him and he'd yell at me even more or about arguing.
And so I didn't really know. 00, what to do.
Hence the, it's is the part that ends the first verse,
I guess you don't know what you want.
Uh
I'm not saying my dad's a bad guy. He's a great guy. He's funny and exciting
and it, and it,
and it cut
and it is really fun to be with when he's in a good mood when he's not
stay away.
But with juvenile bipolar,
um
they, their moods changed rapidly in the course of a day adult bipolar
mania for a number of years, depression for a number of years.
Um So,
you know, she would be really angry then really happy, then really sad
all
in the course of one day she couldn't control her own emotions, right?
That's what it is, rapid, rapid cycling.
Um And that's hard. That was really hard.
She did, she got that diagnosis when she was seven.
My disorder starts with anxiety
then comes sudden shifts of mood depression, tears.
I've cried all my life, hot tears, run down my burning cheeks.
Um
Spur
she
is
um
me
and physic model.
So
shave
and Maia
poppas casa.
So
ca
the internal suffering that drives the body and the mind
inconsolable suffering,
all the tears in my body flow like an endless spring.
He has um probably bipolar.
He's probably got some severe attachment issues.
He has a
genetic predisposition to all kinds of neurological
disorders from both mother and father.
But he also has fetal alcohol,
uh maybe some other things. But so far that's
seems to be the major.
That's a lot. He's been on respirator
since he was four years old
and a whole series of other medications very early on.
He was on PROzac before he was four.
Uh, Nazanin
cloNIDine
and a variety of medications. Trying to figure out
it didn't really do anything
we're managing.
I bite severely bad.
Makes a lot of people ill too.
It's bad.
Some das have to go home.
That's why I get kicked out of school.
But actually I
got to school for another reason as well.
And that's the reason why it's very dangerous to do that. So that's what they told us.
And actually one of the tas had to go to the hospital
name was Mr o'gorman.
So I heard it correctly.
Her arm turned purple.
I bite pretty bad.
I do it to a lot of people too. I don't know why.
So, when I get temper active it's pretty bad.
Yeah.
But he needs his medication.
Yeah. I think it's given him a
yes, we do have behaviors and,
but it
gives him a better understanding of how to calm himself down. He has the ability
to calm down. Whereas before he didn't have that window of opportunity.
The first few years at
the school he was in, they had, um,
a particular room they called the quiet room.
I have always been there but I've never known that room existed.
And I went to pick him up one day
I could hear him but I couldn't see him.
And it turned out the quiet room was actually a soundproof closet
with no windows.
Um, a
full metal door with a window at the very top of that. And someone,
they shut the door and
sit outside and wait for him to stop.
Wasn't a really good experience
inside. That room was at the top was
a clear set of Christmas lights
on the bottom was, um,
finger marks
where he was trying to dig his way out.
That was my first experience with,
um,
I don't know what it was. It was very demeaning anyway.
I know they did what they needed to do, but
it just,
that was how they handled it at that time. It's not like that today.
Um,
I promptly called his worker
took her.
I wouldn't have been allowed in any other situation.
I didn't see why it should be allowed in public school system.
I had my kids with me so
they knew,
um,
he was screaming and spitting and
sometimes if you were lucky A T A would be sitting there
waiting for him to stop. But
it was pretty bad.
Even the principal put me in there one time.
It was bad.
I
got kicked out of school one time too.
Well, I guess it's new. It was the new school. So
they don't have a quiet room there like they used to.
They have something a little bit different. They have a resource room.
She's a little bit better than a quiet room.
Hours spent hidden away in a tiny corner.
My small body trembling
screams rise from my lungs, piercing shrieks.
I've lost a minute. My parents are fussing
trying to calm me down.
I bite my nails, blood on my fingertips.
I bang my head against the wall nonstop.
The blues resonate inside my body
and and
really
be
o
they
may
be
tattooed her.
She
come on
immediately
as he got older. Some new p
now you care
with Pran
do
be,
I'm just blank. We will be two more.
OK?
Two more.
Bye.
And you want the call or
just two more? Just two more
of
eve?
No,
so
that's all.
Do you do an
I in you take
on
Tuesday fest. Don't follow
Peter's
a
miserable
Kasch
dies.
Wole
Su Tre.
So
you
know
I
told
you
to
for, for
men
sa
ca la Pala
Brandon
piece of a man. Come on. Can you f
ch
you know Cyprus, Syria Conroy.
Sometimes
a
se
da
di
mo
an
my father, a gentle tender, intelligent man would be completely transformed.
It become verbally and physically violent.
He would always take it out on my mother. His personality changed.
It would go from calm to instant fury.
My father was bipolar.
VPA
accepted mona
me.
So
de
CDC,
the
de
uno
pas
in
ma
from the age of 15 onwards, my one and only challenge was to hide his discomfort,
his anxiety, his trembling,
nothing else mattered.
You hide your illness with lies and absences.
These are my meds I take in the morning,
I take the same thing at night just in different doses.
This is
Omega three. It's fish oil, it just helps my brain work better in general.
Hey, and this is
lithium. It's a kind of salt and it's an antipsychotic.
It takes vitamin B out of my system. So I have to also take a dose of vitamin B.
Sorry, if me taking it is boring
and this is tever
to,
it just slows my brain down. Right?
And as you can see,
I take it with milk because milk is thick enough that it cushions its way down
before we started our journey. I was pretty anti medic medication for Children.
Um
I think most people probably are.
Um
I think the thought of having your child on medication,
especially if they start when they're very young
and have to continue to take medication for a long time is very scary.
So we were very cautious.
We did a lot of, uh, work ourselves, Sean and I researching medication,
uh, looking on the internet, seeing the kinds of side effects,
making sure that we are well aware.
Oftentimes we would
come to the doctor, um, having read information and suggest changes to
medication based on what we'd read.
We would always follow up any suggestions with our own research as well.
We talked to other parents too, um,
and we share knowledge amongst ourselves parents that
uh are all um in
this boat together.
I'm a very bright little girl
at the head of my class. I'm shy but I'm the best.
At 15, everything changes.
I can't perform anymore. Everything terrifies me. I'm paralyzed by anxiety.
Actually, Dave's doing really well in school.
He's had a real positive school experience.
Yes, he's had major issues at school,
but he's had wonderful,
wonderful school supports and he's always had teachers and tas that
not only had a willingness to work with him
but would ask for him year after year. Oh, I learned a lot at school this year,
I learned a lot about electricity
and how um
and now the circuit, we learned about circuits as well,
like a series circuit and um
you know, a lot about it.
Yeah,
we're moving
part of why we're moving is to
give them a chance.
Things are pretty routine
here right now. So
he needs to have growth.
He needs to move through life at a different level in a different way.
Just wasn't planned. It just happened this way that
it's been a concern for a while
that they didn't have um
a
male mentor or especially with David.
He doesn't ride a bike, doesn't have neighborhood friends, few school friends, but
he doesn't really have a life
and this is a chance.
It just came up and um
I decided I'd go for it. So I bought a house, try different
m
of living in the country.
Let's see.
ST
Leo
60.
Do
you do?
You?
Is
G
da da
and then it will
be
some
high
biscuits. So get this too.
Jo
you got to live with the
music.
Can be
a to
can
be
a
ti
se
come to
come
to
see
you passing
but you
suicide
shining.
So
the scientist says
he's still hanging
s
I wouldn't want it to be our lives.
Do you see
this is
the video?
Hm
Bash.
Because
could tell
you
quite
done.
Maybe you should both.
Yeah.
You see the medications
are the sala
or enjoy
a safe
it
Z
Monte
Chin.
Do you just mind on me?
So
basi
Kenny
Strugg.
I,
I like
the
to
come
up
here
too
to
visit vital.
It's the
rema
dia
always like Matthew
Matar
Salva.
I reminded you. So
no,
off
it sir.
Imprisoned in a straitjacket,
incapable of moving or breathing.
The suffering is palpable,
immense loneliness.
The walls closing on me.
I'm suffocating.
We were going into the store and
Aaron lost,
it went into a complete meltdown.
I remember Sean and I just kind of looked at each other and he said,
we have to leave now.
And I said, yeah, so we said to Aaron,
you can either walk out of here under your own power or
that he's gonna have to take you out.
And uh
she just wasn't going to leave.
She made it clear that she was not leaving until she got that toy. So
I had to pick, literally
pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, hold her
because she's fighting like a demon
and Heather's, you know,
and all these parents and all these people are watching us and Heather's
got her head down and she's trying to get out the door,
I'm trying to get her out the door.
She was having a mood swing. She'd been told she couldn't have something.
And it was really,
it was,
it was awful.
It's mortifying as a parent to go through that you see other people and they're
looking at you and all I could do is just
keep heading towards the door, get her into the car,
you know,
forcibly shove her into the car, clip the, the,
the belts on,
um, the seatbelt on
and we're driving and she, we're driving down the road, Heather's, um, shaking,
talking into the phone, the cell phone,
um,
calling our psychiatrist
and I'm driving and Aaron's kicking me in the head
I was kicking at the seat,
he and punching
in
the people in the front seat, which is very hard. Might I add?
And so I was pretty determined and there you go.
And so at that point, Aaron got hospitalized for a little while.
Directly after I got out of the rage,
I feel
hollow.
It's just my word for it. Hollow.
Hollow because
as I just,
my eyes are just so baggy and
I can't it.
I
remember a thing and I just feel like flopping down.
I'd call that a hollow feeling.
Your heredity marks you forever.
The suffering continues anxiety overwhelms me to the point of vertigo.
This paralyzing anxiety, tenacious
dread persists like troubled waters.
Uh
oh
She
cream take
Caroline
detested.
I hate you. I hate sipping.
Yeah. Yeah. They find
out about
the name
team
ZD
sh
my,
it's a real struggle sometimes for parents to
stay together under these kind of circumstances.
It's very stressful.
Um Sean and I think are lucky that we had sort of the same values and the same
goals in terms of parenting. Or if you're with someone who doesn't believe that
your child has a mental illness. I think that's even more
difficult,
ready.
I feel miserable. Like I don't belong in the world.
That's the point where I often beat myself up,
not actually beat physically myself up, like punch, kick myself
of, of
or cut myself. Like some people do.
I start insulting myself and saying what an idiot I am
sometimes. II,
I even swear at myself, I call myself an F and B sometimes.
And if it's really extreme,
one of the things about
Aaron having bipolar disorder is that I, I don't look at other Children the same
way anymore. Let's see. Interstellar Flight,
Jeopardy ear.
Rainbow trout are very,
pretty bad,
pretty bird
all
tweet
tweet.
When the medication was first started,
we changed a lot to different medications.
It changed a lot.
We're getting used to it now because we're on the exact same medication now.
But that might stop
probably in a couple
months,
months or something.
That bird is nuts.
You little fella?
Oh, for
her.
Did you make any new friends there?
Yes. I mean, it, Alex. What are you kidding? More friends?
Ok. Maybe I met a couple more. Like Devin. No, that's not Devon. Yeah,
that is. Um, I think
I
make any girlfriends.
Yes, I did.
I already made a girlfriend
except it wasn't at school.
Is that something else?
Although my girlfriend was quite nice,
but I already dumped one because I didn't want to keep two.
So, when did you jump? The ugly one is the nice one.
Um, there wasn't any ugly ones. They were both quite nice.
Uh, I have a quite nice one at, um, I have a boyfriend. I know one.
I actually have a girlfriend that, um,
at the house, the house I went to this weekend.
What? Wendy's
I
Victoria.
Yes,
I shouldn't be telling this on film but yeah.
Oh
yeah.
She
um
she demanded
paternity
test
blood
parents.
Roy
P PDF.
The, the red neck
P.
Come
tell my
conspiracy
love,
sudden inappropriate mood shifts with no warning
eruptions.
My rages are always triggered by injustice.
Someone makes a nasty comment.
My mood changes.
Shwa
Princi
PPP.
He goes, you're quite wrong. She
she
you
the
um
and
of course
he
shows
Kif
Park
he's going to be in jail. He's going to be abusive to his wife.
So
he,
so he goes, no, no
that mental institution,
aggressive,
abusive.
Well,
so because he
the man because love and hate can turn so fast
that
the app
to
because
yeah, mental problem. But
he
put mental problem. I
come a
mental institution because of it.
No
man
PM
my
lab.
So
I say do
PP
will pull through.
You
got it. We
lady
that way,
please call
me.
Yes,
there'd be no tacit was wrong
there.
Wheelchair.
All I do is steal food.
Most of the time I steal food
because I like I'm
I get into anything
because if he doesn't need that much supper, he
usually gets into,
if the door is not locked overnight, he'll go and get food. Oh,
not this room. They only have an alarm.
They have an alarm here in case he gets out and the
door is not like like one time at the old house,
we, we were all, we were all sleeping.
Not right now, Alex and we heard the alarm go off and, but he didn't go in the bathroom,
he went in the kitchen and he snuck food.
It was quite fun too.
We have explored lots of different options for helping Erin to um manage her moods.
Um We took a meditation class through uh CPR I, which is where
Erin's treated.
And after that,
Erin and I did meditation privately as well with a meditation teacher
and then
Reiki.
And then at the same time, we learned Reiki
and uh for a long time,
we did Reiki um twice a day every day uh because it helped Aaron to stay
focused, but also helped her maintain her moods to,
she can do it on herself. I can give her Reiki.
It's, that's been really great too. And
the other thing that we added recently is we started going to see a homeopath so that
we can look at other options
with um natural uh
with natural methods.
The issue is that there are many natural products that interact with medications.
So we have to be very careful. The other side of it is that
it's about the family and it's about the community we live in.
So
there isn't just one thing that solves it, it's never just one thing.
It is a, it's a whole combination of things.
It's a continuum
of care and that's really, really important
um, because not because, you know, if, if, if it was just medication and that was it.
I don't think we'd be half as successful as we are.
Fits of rage,
bitter taste in my mouth.
The need to say, I'm sorry
to beg forgiveness. Shame.
Ah,
come
out
pray
he minds in there.
Yeah. Uh, grows are
going down,
jo,
allow
me
below.
I,
my thoughts race and jump from one subject to another.
I become valuable.
Nothing can stop me. Everything is jumbled in my head.
Racing tars.
I
imagine that you're a parent with a child
and you have to give up custody of your child because
that's the only way they'll get the care they need.
It's, it's sad
and, and, and
what's crazy when it comes to parents?
So if my child had diabetes
and she was sick,
right? And we go to the hospital
immediately, doctor,
they get the medicine, they get everything that that child gets all kinds of care.
Nutrition, everything
child has. Epilepsy. Child gets all kinds of care right away.
Child has a mental illness.
Parents take a class,
think about that
rather than trying to get
the medication and the treatment and to figure out what the diagnosis is.
Parents take a class
and then
6 to 8 months down the road,
then we'll get to talking about what the diagnosis is and the medication is.
And then two years after that,
you'll get into a program where that might be able to help you as well.
So, if that was diabetes, that child would be dead already.
So that tells me that
that's prejudicial.
It's prejudice.
And
the only way we can change that is by talking out loud about it,
by doing what we're doing now, talking out loud about it and not
trying to keep it behind the closed door.
People judge you.
You feel judged because you're different.
Ongoing prejudice.
You're lazy,
crazy mental.
Mhm
Welcome back.
Mm
But
looking back Lemon
Seco Seco
plant.
I should ta
just
if you know mine her style
but
uh po CD
four
K.
So
Ari
PP
the
tra
the
system
um
who say a
day of sadness,
this insidious, silent depression mothers like a spider web,
hide this distress,
hide all these signs, hide in silence
to all those doctors and psychiatrists and teachers and
educational assistants and people who work in agencies.
Um
What's really important is that the parent is the expert,
the parent knows their child better than you will in your 15
minutes in front of sitting with that child trying to figure out
who they are or what they are.
This fall, something amazing happened.
Something very,
pretty much unheard of.
It was like they've decided to do student council this year.
And so I ran for the position of fundraiser.
It was just my little step forward.
Now
though,
I was running against a pair of girls who were both going for the job together.
Heather who were popular, popular grade eight girls.
Now,
what do you think happened?
I got 96% of the votes.
96.
I,
and everyone,
and everyone was asking my mom after every teacher was saying that they,
that she wrote it.
It's pretty crazy.
We've always celebrated the fact that she's different. We've never,
um, made that, uh,
an issue. We've always said that it's a great thing that she's different.
And when we found out she had bipolar disorder,
it was just like we had a label to put on that difference.
It wasn't
a label that we abhorred or
wanted to. Uh,
you know,
I think a lot of people get caught up in the whole idea of labels and what they mean and
we embraced the label and said, great,
let's use that label to help us get the help that we need.
Let's embrace the label and let's, uh, let that be
something very positive that we can move forward with
and
we go fishing down here and
he really wants to go, but he's so uncoordinated.
It's kind of like now you see him now, you don't.
We're walking through this.
Well,
it's pretty harsh walking and all of a sudden you hear Dave
talking and you look back and he fell in a hole.
So you have to go back to kind of,
you know, see if he's all right and he's grumbling,
hauls himself out and away you go again.
Fishing wasn't working.
So, you asked me to look for worms. I
asked you to hold the worms. Oh,
yeah.
Ended up in the water
and, uh,
it was water all through the worms.
Oh,
so that was a bad one. That was bad too.
No, it's kind of funny though.
And you didn't catch any fish.
No.
Nope. But you got a soaker. Right.
And Alex got her busy Rod. Suck in the water. That's right. And, and swam out to get it.
Right. Yeah. And she was screw me half to death.
That's cool.
Yeah, I know it was really cold that day.
And while she was doing that you fell in the other hole backwards.
Did we catch fish that day?
Did we catch fish?
Yes.
Fish
caught
at
the end of it.
You, you have fish, you caught your fishing limit but you got a lot more than that.
You, you come out feeling so
not that he fell in the hole or not that he was soaking wet.
But we were all looking pretty grimy,
but they bring you a lot of joy
shy.
But I'm also you
so my prey
because it is,
it is good.
The song.
A long
She
qui
font
Net
Car
net.
Petit
fa os PC
A
this
test
so
far
with
the, with
a
prison.
I'm
doi
Michel
to go
and
be
about the prison.
And
so
no,
you just come to moa
fe
Fe,
let's go.
Instant
good,
Jke.
Deserve
the pgkes
to
pan
me, sister
Kal,
the priest.
Did you both
my say
in or blue
me
man. Shout out to her. But the
woman needs, come on.
No
pare.
Go back and forth. Be back and forth.
I'll get, I'll just get it, Alex that I can help.
All right.
It's all right. Little one.
Here's another little one. It's not this heavy.
Probably
be
the pound.
I have a lot of friends at school that don't usually like me do. Why they let it down.
One friend. It wasn't that nice neither.
I forget his name, but it wasn't that nice.
I'm not gonna say his name though.
Well, he called me a knee kid
and I usually don't like that
when he uses it. It has, it has his advantage. I don't like it,
it's not that good
and I don't take it as a compliment either.
It annoys me so much when people do that.
Especially when they used it as their advantage.
I'm sure you guys wouldn't do that.
That happens most of the time. By the way,
there are
schools that people were kind of different.
There's a lot of kids at the old schools and ones now that weren't that good.
It changed a lot to me because I don't know, I usually like most kids at these schools.
A lot of kids didn't,
didn't like me
the fact that the United States
has better mental health care than Canada does where we have universal health care.
The fact that Canada is the only country in the G eight
that doesn't have a mental health policy.
That makes me, that makes me really ashamed.
That makes me really ashamed
that we're that far behind.
I think it's cheaper
overall to step in now
while they're growing up than it is to keep them in an institution like that.
That's my greatest fear. I do not want my boys in jail.
I
do not, but it's easier for them to send them to jail than it is
to find them, sir. And that is what's happening and for somebody to think it's not.
Let me tell you,
I hear every darn day
and I hear it
across the board,
the whole province.
There's mama's
mama.
You
see,
sorry,
a a
pas
yes. Just so
we come
please back.
So please tell me,
huh.
I say come
and make it easier. Come
on
the car.
He put my
I wanted
no, I was on the plane but charges immediately come out
do
it.
Then I get
to
but
it's
a, it's a
soy
when you have Children with unique needs, whether it's mental health or not.
I think you actually gain more because you work
harder and you have to find a different way in
why would that child be running around pounding on
that house or why would that be child,
be screaming and there's no reason for it.
But the ironic thing two minutes later, everything's wonderful because
it's not a big issue for the child.
So you learn to be humble,
you learn to be creative, you learn to be a lot more loving, a lot more forgiving
and uh
but it, it does take its toll.
I guess it must be a Japanese pumpkin.
She talks more about um what she wants to do in terms of a career.
Uh She wants to be a video game critic.
And, um, you know, she'd like to be, I think a writer too. She definitely has
a skill for writing
and she apparently right now is saying that she'd like to adopt lots of Children.
Hey,
I just follow
me.
She's my
finger
cos she
up the ma
ma
comfort bubble
you can step out in the real world
she put on. But
what do you want to be when you grow up?
Maybe a police officer?
What? Probably a detective or a police officer? Ok.
It could be interesting.
Yeah.
Would you arrest me?
No, no, no, I don't arrest people that aren't evil.
Think you'll ever get married and have kids and
probably
probably, oh, yeah, no doubt, no doubt.
Uh I, and a girlfriend anyways, you're gonna find 10, yeah.
What
would you want that girlfriend to be? Like if you had a special friend
that happened to be a girl?
Probably a blondie.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Ok.
Be
still
can just my
VL
which is good
matters to me a lot for people to know who I am
online. I will say that I have a mental illness
and I'll say no, I'm not a guy in a straitjacket.
I can I get
my moods
are I have trouble controlling my moods
and if anyone misunderstands, they get taken off my friend list.
My delivery is heightened.
My thoughts come clear and fast.
I'm angry.
The diagnosis arrives way too late at age 40
rapid cycling bipolar disorder,
immense sadness, then relief
your body and soul gradually adapt to the medication.
The trembling stops, the fear disappears. Light emerges.