Everybody's drinking tonight
or drinking. Yeah, I'm good. Like I said, I'm good at drinking.
Uh,
anybody smoke weed.
We got weed, smokers. Yeah,
I, I'm a, I'm a weed smoker but I'm bad at that. Uh,
I'm a bad
pot.
II,
I am bad at smoking weed and it's not because I can't pass, I can pass just fine.
It's, uh,
it's the puff puff that I have a problem with
because the first path
I'm like,
why don't I do this shit more often?
This shit is amazing.
And the second puff, I'm like, why the hell did I do this?
I am way too high right now.
Why is everyone talking to me? Like I'm retarded.
Wait a second, am I retarded?
Have my parents raised me to believe that I'm not retarded. Which in fact I am.
Is this why I rode the short bus as a kid?
Did I literally smoke myself retarded.
I,
uh,
I did ride the short bus as a kid.
Um, yeah, it was, uh, depressing. You know, I felt like an outcast.
I felt like an outsider.
So, uh, but we, we got to go through the drive through
every Friday. So that made that Happy Meal. Made it all worth it, you know?
No, I, I mean, I shouldn't shit on it that much.
I shouldn't shit on it that much because
uh one of the most inspirational
uh people in my life uh was my uh was my bus driver.
And uh
she was inspirational
because she was the first
person
that treated uh people without disability with disabilities like everyone else,
you know,
like she treated us better than everyone else. Like
if you didn't have drew on your face, she wouldn't even look you in the eye. You know,
like she was, she was kind of militant about it though. She, she was kind of militant.
She was like Malcolm X or Rosa Parks, you know,
granted there's no back of the bus on a short bus
but you get my point. Um
And that, and that military
kind of rubbed off on us,
that military kind of rubbed off on all
the kids with disabilities because I'll never forget when
a bunch of normal kids had to ride the bus with us.
You know, normal kids,
you know, the type
with their perfectly combed hair
and their reading comprehension
and just the right amount of chromosomes. You don't know my
kids,
they disgusted us.
They were disgusting
and I'll never forget when they walked on that short bus
and everyone could feel the tension in the air, everyone could feel it.
It was palpable. You could cut it with a knife. Everyone could feel it
except for Susan
because Susan had severe autism.
So that wasn't really on her spectrum.
But we had our back man.
We were on this together
and I'll never forget
when they walked on that bus and we started staring at them.
We started giving the laser eyes staring, lasers at them.
Just give him the death stare
except for Larry
because Larry had two lazy eyes.
So he just looked at the floor and the ceiling
at the same time.
Oh, we had his back man.
We were on this together
and I'll never forget when they try to sit down right next
to us and we refused to move out of our seats,
especially me
because I really didn't have a choice in the matter.
But they had my back man.
We were all in this together
and I'll never forget, I'll never forget when a normal kid,
I had the nerve to sit right down next to me.
And he asked me if I wanted to play in recess with him
and I go recess. Don't, you know, recess? Is that a
activity invented by the normal man to keep us crippled and
retarded, oppressed?
Why the hell would I want to play with you in recess?
And a glorious chant erupted from the short bus.
A
retard,
a retard.
Thank you. That's my time.