Your next comic. Uh He's coming up. He's a brilliant guy. You're gonna love him.
Give it up for Lucas Waterfield.
I
think you sitting in your m
Hey.
Yeah.
Oh
what?
Jesus
Christ?
Can you hear me?
OK.
Yeah, there you go.
You
guys drinking tonight,
I'm gonna
drink that. I
like to drink.
Uh me and Zane, we drink uh
we're drinkers, we get drunk, we're drunk
the other night. We were uh drinking
and uh we had to get
uh uh from one bar to another. So you uh do what you gotta do.
You guys get in your white car
uh you drink and drive
um
because you have to because Uber is not handicap accessible.
Um
Me and Zane were drinking, driving and we get pulled over
and uh Kyle comes up to a window and he says
uh
he says to Zane, he says, you know, if you give me a 50 I can get you out of this.
And Z goes uh sir that's blackmail that's illegal and he goes no son,
it's ill legal to be a black male.
It was rough.
Um
See I can tell that joke because I'm not uh, white, I'm a, a
crippled
dog.
Therefore, I don't have white gull. I have a crippled gill.
There's only a few things,
uh, crippled people are so truly. And historically, feel guilty about,
uh, one of those things is I get free drinks all the time.
I've never paid for a drink in my life.
The other thing is, uh,
the Japanese internment camps.
Yeah.
Yeah, that,
that one's us.
Correct.
That, that was darn bad.
We're sorry about that. We would take it back if we could.
So
you
can,
you have to live with your history
for everyone. I pay attention. That's a FDR joke. You know
FDR.
He was our president. He was scribbled. Uh, he walked up,
uh, a bunch of innocent Japanese people because of the color of their skin.
Um,
but he got away with it
because there's perks, you know,
make America rippled again.
I
can't understand.
I
don't know what I'm saying.
Uh, I'll move on
after,
uh, being crippled.
Uh, you,
uh,
there's a lot of awkward situations, uh, being crippled, being in a wheelchair.
Um,
uh, like for example, a couple of years back,
I was, uh,
I,
I was at my folks house
and I had to get a shower at
my parents' house and there was no one there to give me a shower.
My aid wasn't there,
but there was no one there to give me a shower except for my mom of all people.
So, there. I was
uh about 26 years old,
uh
naked,
some all around me.
And my mom looks at me and she goes,
Lucas. What did you do to yourself?
And I go mom, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Well, let's get this over with. This is awkward.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
She goes, you know exactly what I'm talking about and she goes to my dad Mark,
get in here.
Look what your son did to himself.
And my dad walks in,
takes one lawyer at
me.
Well,
it looks like, uh,
he shaved his pub
and my mom goes, that's awful. That's sick.
Me and your father have never done anything like that in
life.
So there I am 26 years old
so far around me
naked,
staring at my parents
in their eyes
and all I can think of is there gnarly.
And my mom goes, that's awful. That's sick. She goes on. That's awful. That's sick.
Who did that to you? I know that you can't do that.
I go mom, a friend did that for me and she goes, that's awful. That sick.
That's a terrible friend. I go, no mom. That's a great friend.
Great friends shave their friend's pew.
It's very inspirational.
Yeah.
I'm gonna make an inspirational posture of it.
It's gonna have me with my f
my pants around my ankles
and my friend on his knees with a razor in his hand
and under, it's gonna say friendship.
It makes me very warm and fuzzy
on the inside,
on the outside. Are you ready for your next time?