Hi, my name is Ola and I'm disabled.
I usually film more, more serious videos,
but today I wanted to film something more
chill also because I was thinking about some things
which are considered mostly girly stuff.
And of course,
it's not only girly stuff because a lot of boys and
trans people and non binary people experience that as well,
but it's a stereotypical girly stuff.
So I've been thinking about these things recently and I needed a place to leave my
foot somewhere and I thought that I'm gonna film a video in a kind of a conversation
style.
So please respond in the comments,
what are your opinions and what are your thoughts
about it and your experiences and anything else?
And like I said, it's mostly girly stuff that I'm gonna be talking about.
But if you're a guy, trans or non binary person,
then please also leave comments below.
If you experienced some stuff that I mentioned
also, excuse my wet hair, but I've just love the shower
and because I don't want to sit here and just talk to the camera like
I always do because it just feels good when I'm talking about more casual stuff.
I decided I'm gonna have a face mask day
and no one asked me to film this video.
But that's why I'm filming it because I just wanna give myself a self
pampering day.
So here you are. I hope you're happy.
OK. So first of all, while we're already on face mask subject,
I just wanted to tell you that recently
I realized because I always had a problem with taking off my face mask, you know,
not the pill off ones, but the creamy ones that you put on your face.
I always had the problem to just take them off of water because
my hands don't work in a way where I can just wash my face properly.
And a few years ago, I realized that I can actually take them off in the shower.
So if you have similar problems,
if you have problems with your hands and you just can't wash your face properly
or if you can't take a face mask off or makeup or something like that,
I think it's a pro tip that you can actually take it off in the
shower and you can also wash your face in the shower and do anything else.
I keep all of my face products in the shower so that I don't
have to do it in the sink because I just can't do that.
I just have to have, you know, water
falling down on my face because I can't do that with my head.
Yeah. So that's it. Ok.
So, I was thinking recently about disabled girls self expressing themselves and
I don't know what you think about it. Oh, that's, oh, that's weird. Ok.
I don't know. What are your experiences about it? But
I, when I was younger I always felt like, oh,
I like these clothes but I can't wear them because they look bad on me
or something like that.
And I sometimes still think like that and it's
the same thing with makeup or with anything really.
When I was younger, I also thought that because I'm disabled, I don't want to,
like,
bring attention to myself because I just felt like I
shouldn't be. Oh, that's so weird. Like it's,
you can't see that but it's like, it's like sparkling on my face right now.
It's, it's a weird feeling.
But ok,
so I always felt like I can't really express myself in a
bit different way than normal way is there's no normal way.
But you know what I mean?
Because I felt that I,
I'm already different in some way so I
shouldn't be bringing more attention to myself.
And I was just thinking like, if it's still a thing,
if disabled girls who are younger than me still think, like,
they can't express themselves because they,
because of some reasons connected to their disability.
And if you do think that way, then please don't because
that's not a good way of thinking. I still think that way.
Of course, sometimes because I think all of us do, but I don't think it's good.
It's like disability shouldn't stop you from being yourself.
And I'm trying to like, express myself now. So when I say please, a close
things that I really like and I feel like it's
like it wouldn't fit me too well because of my disability.
I still try it on and buy it if I like it because
I feel like even if my hands look bad in this thing,
then if I like it and if I would wear it, if I wasn't disabled, then why should I,
then why shouldn't I wear it now?
But I remember when I was younger,
I never really liked wearing clothes without long sleeves
because my hands looked in a certain way,
you know, you can see my, my hands look weird in a way.
So I always thought that shouldn't be wearing
short sleeves.
Well,
especially in school or around people who I don't know because then they
can see my hands and then they can just pay attention to my
hands and
I shouldn't be bringing more attention to what's not perfect about me.
But I just wanted to know what your opinion about it is.
And if you had similar experiences, especially when you were younger or even now.
And
so please let me know in the comments
and I think that can also apply to
guys because why not everyone can express themselves.
Oh, Jesus. I feel so weird. It's like buzzing under my nose.
Oh, that's, that's so weird. Ok.
Ok. That, that's not good. I don't like it but,
ok.
Ok.
So the next thing which is kind of, I guess more girly stuff,
I was just thinking because like, for example,
I have really small shoulders and wearing a bra is not comfortable for me
at all because the straps are falling off me and other stuff like that.
So I was just thinking like, if you,
if you're similar to me, if you like have problems wearing a bra or putting on a bra
or any other piece of clothing
that is considered appropriate in the society that we have to actually
wear it because because that's what society wants us to do.
Then do you still wear it?
Like, even if it's not comfortable for you because of your disability
and
even if you can't put it on and you need
someone else's help to do it?
Do you still
wear it or do you just not care about it at all? And do you just decide not to do that? But
yeah, like it's still, it's still an issue of self expressing,
I guess a little bit of like being afraid of looking different than other people,
but we already do look different than other people.
So,
what's your opinion about it? Like, do you ever think about it, not really.
I just don't know if it's just me
overthinking things and another thing because I guess
that a lot of disabled girls have problems shaving their legs because I do like,
I mean, I do it quite quickly because I learn how to do that.
I just,
if, if you don't know if you have problems with that,
maybe it's gonna help you because I just kneel on one knee
in the shower and that way I can reach my legs from
both of the sides and that helps. So maybe it's gonna help you as well.
But anyway, I do it quite quickly but it's still quite an issue.
It's, it's not easy for me. I just don't like doing it. I really don't like doing it.
So I was just thinking if you can't shave your legs,
do you ask someone to do it for you because you want
to or do you ask someone to do it for you?
Because that's what society expects you to do? Or do you just not ask anyone
and just have curry legs and you don't care about anything?
So let me know in the comments because I still
don't feel good walking around the city with her legs.
But I know that I really stopped caring and if I don't like doing that,
then I just don't do that too often because even last summer I used to
shave my legs like every other day because I felt like I have to.
But now I just don't care like if it's a problem for me,
if it's difficult for me to do that, then I just
don't do that because why would I,
but I was just curious because I am able to do that but people who are
not able to do that if you are disabled and you can't do that at all,
then what do you do?
Do you still
ask someone or not?
Just let me know in the comments because I'm curious, I'm sorry if that's offensive,
but I just am curious, sorry.
Ok. The face mask is supposed to stay for like
3 to 5 minutes. I'm gonna set a timer for
four minutes because that's in the middle.
And another thing I was curious about is what do you do
when you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner?
Like, do you ask them for help with different stuff?
Like when you're staying the whole day with them
and you usually ask your parents or your curse for help?
Do you just ask your girlfriend or boyfriend for help? And especially, I mean,
in like early relationships, like when you've just been dating for a month,
for three months or even a week or something like that, do you trust your partners?
And do you kind of want to make yourself vulnerable in
front of them or do you not like doing that?
I can't remember any situation with my current boy
that I've asked him for help with something that
was more personal because he's always helping me with like
in the kitchen or other things like that.
But I remember with my ex boyfriend,
I had to ask him once to help me put a bra on
because I was putting a bra on a wet body after a shower.
So it's difficult for me because my body is kind of sticky then.
And I always ask my mom for that when I'm staying at home, like, right now,
but then I was with my ex
boyfriend and I had to ask him for help because I had to leave quickly
and I felt kind of bad because we were only dating for like two weeks or something.
Then I felt bad. But on the other hand, I didn't have anyone else to ask for help.
And of course, if I was alone, then I would have to manage on my own.
But then I would just be late and leave
later because I wouldn't be able to do it on my own.
So I asked him because if he was already there and he could help me, right.
But I'm just wondering how you feel about that.
Like, do you ask your partners for help? And
when do you start doing that?
Like, even if you're one day in a relationship or one year,
like when do you think is the appropriate time
to start asking your partner for help and,
I mean, partner who, like,
weren't your best friend for a few years or months before. I mean, a partner who,
who you've only maybe recently met or who you
weren't too close with before you started the relationship?
Ok.
My timer just went off because I was
staring in front of myself rather than recording.
So I'm gonna go back to the shower,
just watch it off really quickly and I'll be back with you in a second.
Ok, I'm back from the shower and excuse my wet TSH. Sorry for that.
So,
another thing I wanted to talk to you about
is because we're already on the partner subject.
When I was younger. I remember being told that it's gonna be more difficult for me
to find a partner when I'm disabled because I'm disabled.
And do you feel like it's true?
Do you feel like you have more problems finding
a partner just because you're disabled or not?
I've never had a boyfriend before. I was 20 years old. So I've never had a boy
in high school in middle school, primary school or anything like that.
I had boyfriend once in kindergarten, but I guess it doesn't count.
So I had my first boyfriend when I was 20 years old when I
was at university and I think that since I've had my first boyfriend,
I stopped thinking that way,
I stopped thinking that my disability affects my dating life.
Because even if I was able by it,
I wouldn't like to date someone who wouldn't like to date me
just because I was disabled if you know what I mean?
So, I feel like it doesn't affect me too much in, in terms of dating life.
But how do you feel about it? Like, like, have you ever met someone who told you that?
Oh, I'm not gonna date you just because you were disabled or something like that.
Because if you didn't, they're not worth you, of course.
But do you feel like if you wouldn't be
disabled and you would be looking for someone else?
Like,
do you think it doesn't only stop other people from following
in love if you are having a crush on you?
But also stops you from seeing people who may
have a crush on you or something like that.
I'm not sure how it works. Exactly. But
I used to feel like no one could ever have a crush on me because I'm
disabled and because I look in a certain way and I don't feel like that anymore,
but I'm just wondering if other disabled people felt or feel like that
as well because of course,
it's self love problem and no one should ever feel like no one can have a crush
on them because they're disabled or because they're overweight
or because they look in a certain way.
But do you feel like disability is really impacting your dating life or not.
And if you didn't, if you don't mind me asking what's your disability,
like how much your disability impacts impacts other parts of your life.
But because I didn't understand that there is a lot of disabilities
that affect your life so much that they can affect your dating life
as well because even if someone is a great person,
they may just not be able or they may not be
ready to help you with everything and take care of you.
And I understand that I know it's not cool and I,
and I'm really sorry if you have a disability
that impacts your life as much because mine doesn't,
I still feel like sometimes it may be impacting my dating life.
But I just need to ask like,
how does your disability impact your sexual
quality?
And how does it impact the way you feel about yourself?
I don't know if you have Instagram but there's a girl called Alex Dorothy.
I'm going to put her user name here on the screen so that you can check her out.
And she's talking a lot about disability and sexuality and
how it connects and how it impacts one another.
So I'm just curious, do you feel like it,
like it's impacting your sexuality and your sex life a lot?
Do you feel like you feel less sexy just because you're disabled
or do you feel like other people consider you not sex?
Just because you're disabled.
I literally don't know what I feel about it because I'm just figuring it out now,
I guess.
But I'm just curious about it because if you check out Alex's Instagram,
you can see that she's very confident about herself,
about her disability and about her sexuality.
And I'm just wondering how many other people,
other disabled people who feel about themselves similar
to Alex who feel like they're super sexy,
who feel like their disability,
but make them more sexual than they would be if they weren't.
So I'm just wondering how many people actually feel like
that and how many people feel the other way,
how many people feel like the disability impact their
sexual life and their sexuality in a negative way.
And of course,
I know that there is a lot of people who sexualize
disabled people and it's not good either because in my opinion,
disabled people should be seen as sexy and as sexual as able bodied people are.
And I know that different people have different preferences
and I know that different people can like different
things and different types of bodies.
But I just wanted to mention that I don't
support sexualizing disabled people only because they're disabled.
It's just weird for me. It's a fact that I just don't understand.
But please, if you feel comfortable sharing that,
do let me know in the comments or on my social media, which is Twitter and Instagram,
I'm gonna put it right here, what do you think about that?
And if you know Alex Darcy,
then what do you think about her activism and her impact on, on the disability
maybe
online.
But I also know that disability affects some people's sexual life physically,
of course, because sexual life is partially physical, of course.
But I've seen a lot of videos of disabled people and read a lot of articles written by
disabled people where they say that sometimes when they
can perform a sexual activity with their partner,
they still can do other things like even cuddling or brushing each
other's hair or other things that are much more intimate for them
and for their partners.
So if you feel again,
comfortable enough and confident enough to share things
with me and with the world online,
then please do, let me know what you think about that.
Do you feel like disability makes you experience intimacy in other way?
Do you feel like because of
the fact that you're disabled,
you
there are other things more or less intimate than others? Ok.
So I think that's it for this video as I said and as the title says, it's a girls talk.
So it's not only me talking but it's also you talking.
So if you feel like you have something to share in, please do share it in the comments.
Once again, these are my Twitter and Instagram handles like right here on the screen
so you can check them out.
I'm planning to be much more active, especially on Instagram soon.
So you can expect more posts from me. And thank you so much for watching.
If you enjoyed watching this video,
then let me know in the comments because I feel like I've been filming
so many series videos that I hate to film something that is more casual.
So if you did enjoy this casual style,
then please let me know in the comments or like
this video to show me that you did like it.
And of course,
subscribe to my channel because that helps me a lot and
that shows me that there's more people who enjoy my content.
So thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next time, which is on Thursday.
Thank you so much. Bye.